Ghostbusters 2016

Yes, I finally watched it and I'm going there.

     Now, as always with my movie reviews, (this is a writing blog) I am going to say below at the end what I would have written or done differently.  Not to take away from the movie, but as an exercise to look at something and adjust how I would work things.  It's easier to do it in this format than with your own work, but it's a good skill to have nonetheless.  

      I am going to start out with, I realize this movie has had some controversy.  The first trailer was one of the most hated videos ever put on youtube (deservedly so, it is not a good reflection of this movie.) There have been accusations of people hating it because they decided to go with women instead of men.  (I have opinions here myself.)  Through it all, the movie made some money and it is rumored to be going for a sequel despite lower box office sales than expected.

     This movie has a bit of a divide on Rotton Tomatoes... not a big one. Critics at 73% and Audience at 55%. I always find it interesting when critics rate a movie higher than the audience.  And I do think that in this case, part of that is because of the audiences pre-conceptions.  I do think a lot of the audience went in expecting this movie to suck and felt that it did because of those preconceptions. Whether it was because the show was women powered or because they didn't want to see a remake of the original, they saw what they wanted to see.

     I myself enjoyed this flick.  It is far from a perfect movie for me and I wouldn't put it past the original, but I think it is worth seeing.  I found myself laughing out loud in different parts and openly enjoying different moments.  I think it was funny, well done, and worth seeing.  I would even willingly see it again.

    I have heard a couple folks say that the plot was close to the original... and I can see that.  However I think that going in you know the plot is, ghost appear, four folks team up, find reason for ghosts, try to defeat that reason, get knocked back, team back up to fight the big bad and save the day.  That is the formula for pretty much all three ghostbuster movies.  This one I felt was different enough that I have no complaints over any similarities.  Rather I cherished the Easter eggs, cameos, and everything else that was a call back to the original.

     My first issue is with the chemistry of the cast.  Other than SCIENCE! I don't understand what binds these four together.  There was a past relationship with Abby and Erin, and obviously Abby is working with Holtzman when they team back up, but other than happenstance I just felt nothing tying these characters together.  My personal theory on this is they tried to make every character so unique and different they forgot to tie them back together.  Even with Patty it's, hey I know New York, and since we are ignoring the internet and anything else you can use to get information you need me!  I wanted more bonding less crazy science.   (Not that the crazy science wasn't cool)  The one big bonding moment in the movie came too little too late for me.  I want these characters to feel invested in each other so I feel like investing in them.

    Kevin is a waste of space.  I think Chris Hemsworth phoned this part in and didn't do much for the movie.  He was a running joke that later because a weak plot device.  (Anyone could have been possessed at the end, even a man casually walking by on the street.)  I wanted to kick his character off the screen every time he showed up and I think making a meaty, stupid, receptionist didn't serve the movie very well.  Or just cast someone who is beefy and can do comedy in this spot.

    I could have done without the mayor and assistant plot as well.  They would have worked better if more thought had been put into their part in the movie, but they became pretty much a bland plot device to keep things moving forward.  If the Mayor and his assistant, (and homeland security) had actually done something to hamper the ghostbusters efforts, (bad publicity... not a big show stopper) They might have been worth the screen time.

    Other than that, Would give this movie a B-.  It did fall flat on some of the jokes and I just kept getting kicked out of the story by the lack of chemistry here and there. Like I said, I think it's worth seeing and would recommend it to fans of the franchise.

    Now her comes the part were I delve a little into spoilers.  I try to keep it light, but in order to say what I would have done differently I sometimes have to mention plot points, and events that happen.  So while I may not do spoilers, don't be surprised if I do.

     First of all, the character development needs to bond the characters tighter.  Just fighting for the cause doesn't tie people together.  I need some bonding moments and I need them early on.  Tell me why these characters are tied together emotionally.  Why does Jillian Holtzman work with Abby Yates, what put them in business together in Erin's Absence?  What makes Patty want to join the ghostbusters?  Yes she sees the ghost with them, but it never really explains why she said, lets go face some more of them together.   I need to see the girls band together to in a way that said, we are friends, we are a family.  That didn't happen.  The only attempt I really saw was too late in the movie to truly move me.

    Second I would have made Kevin a more important part.  Comic relief is great, but what if they only person they could hire as a receptionist was a snarky jerk who questioned them constantly.  Give Them a challenge rather than a pretty face to moon over.  Or write him out, and replace him with a boring placeholder.  I just needed something, a purpose beyond a badly made running joke for that character to be there.

     I would have written in some real opposition.  Instead of the Mayor and company just telling them to keep stuff quiet, I would have had them actively working against the Ghostbusters.  Don't make him a bad trope, make him a mayor who is genuinely fighting for the city and thinks that they Ghostbusters are making things worse.  Put some meat in the game rather than a weak plot point that we have seen before.  Movies are so full of corrupt and stupid politicians, make and honest one for them to fight against and then you have an interesting thing moving the plot forward.  Not something we have seen a million times before and that we just pray ends soon.

    Last of all I would reign the personalities in a big.  Holtzman is great as the mad scientist, but balance that out with a bit of personality that is contrary.  Erin is very straight forward and almost stiff, but give her some moments early on that show what she used to be, or how she got that way.  Don't just mention it and move on.  So on for the other characters.  Build them so they are less two dimensional.  I need a reason to care for them, that is true of any character in a story.  There is very little character development here though.  I can't honestly say I think any of the characters have changed by the end of this movie.

    Beyond that, I liked the overall arc of the plot.  The visual effects were pretty amazing, and i think it was well paced and directed.

    But what did you think?  What worked for you in this movie, what didn't.  How would you improve this story?

Ben Marble.

As always, if you want to support me and my attempts to rid the world of evil spirits, please consider buying one or my shorts stories at Amazon.com.

Two Separate Paths: Looking at R. Brady Frost.

Why I find it fascinating to follow R. Brady Frost.

     Yes, I'm calling out a fellow writer whom I have known since High School.  To be fair, several years passed before we reconnected via Facebook, and I have seen his physical present since we were both young and skinny.  Well, he still looks kinda skinny.  We have however, had several moments of correspondence. Read each others work, and traded opinions here and there.

      We both have a lot in common.  We are both fathers who are tackling family, jobs, and other such things.  We both work in IT, (though he is well established, and I'm up and coming as I'm still in school.)  We also both face challenges on a weekly basis on getting our writing done as one would figure from the things mentioned above.

     There are differences too.  Brady is focused more on a Sci-fi path with his current work on Clorophyllium 9: A Final Hope.  And his short stories are more inspiration based than mine.  Well, he does have the zombie one, but his focus is in different areas, that are still fiction based, than I generally pursue.  I tend to focus more on fantasy, urban fantasy, and horror.  His attention to small detail in writing is something I would love to develop and emulate as I find myself often skipping the little stuff and having to add it in later.  I know he has mainly discovery written, while I like to outline.

     The biggest difference I see is that Brady seems focused on being self-published, while I am looking towards trying to be traditionally published.  Now, I say that fully realizing that I have short stories that I have written and put up on amazon.com.  For my book though, my full stories, I plan on trying to pursue traditional publication.  Brady has always (and I could be wrong) seemed focused on self publication.

     Now, there is nothing wrong with either path.  My pull towards traditional publishing comes from the lack of desire to have to work hard on marketing myself at this point.  I also am not sure about how to market myself beyond growing an internet presence and putting up the odd short story to hope I garner some attention.

     Brady has a great website rbradyfrost.com.  He has a podcast he has been working on at hunting the muse.  And is often a lot more present on social media that I manage to be.  His podcast has writing prompts on a weekly basis, and they are great for getting you to think about different ideas. He is constantly working on his writing and even has a book, COMA: The Cataclysm on his website so people can read and actively give him feedback.

     I compare that to the fact I tried to start a Facebook page for prospective writers, and it fizzled after a couple months.  I have wanted to podcast about things myself, but have never really sat down and banged out what I would need to do one.  I don't even know what platform I would go for, as writing is not the only think I would like to discuss.

    So why do I follow Brady and make comparisons? Well I will tell you.

    It fascinates me to see what he is able to accomplish with his time.  It gives me a standard to compare myself to, that is more realistic than looking at a published author such as Larry Correia or Jim Butcher.  Those folks are published and established.  With Brady I can watch him develop and achieve success form the ground up.  It makes him more relate-able to me.  Of course it helps that I remember him from when we were younger as well.

    I also watch, because as he finds success I can learn from it.  I already know I'm not great at sitting down and writing daily.  Though I do put out a good weekly word count.  I am constantly developing my stories in my head as I go through out my day, and I have goals I am starting to set and meet better than I ever have.

    So fellow authors, who do you watch and learn from?  Who are those you look up to that may not be already published big name authors, and why?  How do you learn from these folks?  How does that fit into your goals?

Ben Marble

Please drop by and visit R. Brady Frost at his website rbradyfrost.com and/or check out his podcast at hunting the muse.  You can also find his short stories at Amazon.com for your kindle or e-book reader.

As always, if you would like to support my clubbing of select baby seals, you can always purchase on of my short stories at Amazon.com as well.

Rolling over Rejection.

That is what life is about folks.

     I finally got my answer back from Grimmack the Goblin, that I had sent into a publisher whom I thought the story would work for.  This was my response.

Thank you for submitting your manuscript entitled Grimmack The Goblin to Unnamed publisher for our review. 

We are always pleased to see new ideas, and we have now completed our review of this material. It is obvious that you have invested a considerable amount of time and energy into this project. Our publishing schedule is quite competitive, however, and as we look carefully at all the issues involved in publication, we are forced to be extremely selective in our publishing decisions. I am sorry to inform you that we are not in a position to pursue this project with you. Unfortunately, the demands of our editorial workload prevent us from sending detailed comments about your work. 

We appreciate your thinking of us and giving us the opportunity to review your work. 

     To be honest, this is about what I expected.  Years ago when I looked at Tor's website they mention right up front that less than 5% of the books submitted directly to them get published.  Submitting anywhere directly I figured I would have a similar chance.  Publishers have to be very careful about what they publish because they are making an investment when thy choose an author.  One might ask, if I knew the numbers where so low, why did I bother submitting anyway?  I will answer.

     If I hadn't submitted, then I would have 0% chance.  I love my story.  I love my characters.  I find myself daydreaming and thinking about situations and stories I can put them in. I have several plot ideas for dear Grimmack to walk through, and even being 75% finished with his second books first draft, I can see the growth the character has gone through.  I think this book, his first book is good, salable, and that many people would enjoy it.  So yea, I did my editing and took my chance.  I am not sorry I did either.  As a matter of fact my other book I'm editing (the dragon's apprentice) I plan on submitting as well to the same publisher.  For the same reason, even though that book is a lot more work than Grimmack to get nailed down and edited well.

     So what did I do when I got rejected you ask?  I didn't grab a pint of ice cream and chain watch Game of Thrones (I can do that without being rejected.) I didn't go through my computer deleting Grimmack's notes and stories in a rage that they weren't good enough.  I did not go online to let everyone know I was a hack and will never be a good author.  I didn't even drive to the mountain top and scream and wail at God because I did not achieve success on my first try with this story.  I did what I feel everyone should do.

     I let myself feel disappointed and a little angry with myself. Those feeling are natural and I'm not going to go blame some editor I have never met because they didn't like my story well enough.  I'm not going to blame my family, God, or anyone else, this was my rejection.  After I let those emotions run through me for a moment, I straightened my back, and got on the internet.  I then found a couple more agents and sent out more queries for Grimmack.

     One rejection is the last reason to stop trying.  five is not,  Even one-hundred is not.  I will keep trying with Grimmack until I graduate DATC next year, which will be about June.  At that point if I can't find traditional publication I will look at self-publishing.  At this moment I don't feel I have the proper time or energy to market myself.  When I graduate though, we will see.

     This is the attitude we have all been told we need to have to be successful.  When you get knocked down, stand up. Take responsibility for your own actions, etc.  They hold true.  The problem is not that we don't know we need to keep getting up to stay in the fight.  The problem is that it is hard sometimes to spit in the eye of rejection and keep going.  That is why I think it's okay to let yourself feel angry and disappointed.  Just make sure you focus those emotions on where they need to be.  Use them to help yourself be more constructive so you can say, "What can I do better next time?"

     That is my plan.  What is yours.  What do you do to help yourself handle rejection.  I don't know if there is a wrong answer here as long as you stand up and get going again.  The taking a moment to down some frozen milk product while watching a show is just as good as turning around and returning a punch by looking for more avenues.  What matters is that you keep going.  There may be miles and miles of road before you make it.  Or it might be over the next hill.

You never know unless you keep moving on.

Ben Marble

If you would like to support the bundle of burning twigs that comprise Ben Marble, think about buying one of his short stories on Amazon.com.

Magnificent 7 Movie Review

Here is my review of Magnificent 7.  Yes, I am doing two in one day.

     Once again, I am compelled to let you know I am not a professional when it comes to reviewing movies. There may also be spoilers here at the end.  I try to keep my initial review spoiler free, but at the end I like to say what I would have done differently if I was a writer. That means sometimes discussing details about the movie I would otherwise omit.  I still try and keep the spoilers light.

     To start, I have never seen the original show this was based on.  I walked into this movie with no bias, just looking forward to seeing a modern Western and hoping to enjoy the movie.  Man did I.

     The introduction of the villain in the first scene is wonderfully done.  He manages to exude menace in a way that makes you think everything he does has an evil motive about it.  The suspense of waiting for that shoe to drop, pulls you into the movie and along for the ride right away.

     The characters are good.  Some great.  Denzel Washington and Chris Platt play off each other well.  The other characters, well they aren’t as big, but they all get their moments that make you smile.  Vincent D’Onofrio plays such a different character form the King pin I had to look hard to recognize him.  The girl who looks like a Jennifer Lawrence rip off (sorry, but it’s kinda true) could have used more personality but I have little complaint in this area.  Every character gets an introduction, and in moments you know what that character is about.  I do have to give a special shout out to Ethan Hawke as his character probably has the biggest character arc.  Most everybody else their arc is pretty straight.  This is the character, and we will tell you why they fight and act like they do in a few seconds.

      The movie is beautiful.  There is something about all the shots of the town with the burnt out church in the background that speaks to you.  Every shot looks good, and even in the inevitable “This is a Western so there is going to be men staring at each other waiting to shoot” moments, it didn’t feel like anything dragged to me.

     The villain could have been more complex.  He is very, one note.   His motivation is greed, and he will kill anyone who gets in the way of that motivation.  No real depth.  However, in the context of this movie it works.  There is something about a villain who calmly lights a cigarette while his army charges into a town, as if he is already bored about being there.

     It is stated before the big fighting begins, that not everyone in the town will walk away from the fight.  Part of the glory of this flick is it doesn’t hesitate to show people on both sides of the fight getting shot and killed.  The body count is high on both sides.  I did expect that despite this the seven this show revolves around would escape unscathed.  I have been watching too many Marvel movies apparently.  I won’t say who, but several of our heroes don’t make it.

     This movie is a definite A in my book.  It is pure popcorn entertainment and the only big complaint I had is that there could have been more of each character.  To do this however would have made the movie much longer, and I don’t think the joy might have lived through that.

    Now comes the spoiler part.  If there is any.  So, beyond may be spoilers, I will still try and keep them light, but you have been warned.

     One thing I would have liked to see is more motivation in the characters.  You understand by the end of the movie why Denzel Washington’s character is there, but the rest seem to just follow him “because.”  There is no reason I can see for most of the characters to throw themselves into a hopeless fight, or I might have missed something.  Chris Pratt’s character was about the gold.  Red Harvest felt it was his “path?”  Yeah, that’s about it. 

     The woman who plays the heroine, who is almost the only woman in the movie that isn’t background had severe personality issues.  She could glare and cry.  That was her two modes.  I wanted to feel heartbroken for her, and I did when her husband was killed, but it faded quickly as I didn’t get anything else emotional from her for the rest of the movie.  I would have given her some more moments to explore who she was.

     I really have no other complaints.  I think for me this was a near perfect movie.  I loved it, I will own it, and I will probably watch it again a few times.

     Once again, this is a big screen movie.  The big Western landscape and the action begs to be seen on a big screen.  The movie is great, go see it.

     What did you all think of it? Did I miss something while I was excitedly noticing that guns didn’t run out of bullets?  Unless it was convenient to the plot that is.  What would you have done differently in this movie?

Ben Marble.

If you want to support Ben Marble in his madness and glory, please consider purchasing one of his short stories at Amazon.com

Mrs. Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children Review.

So here is a movie review for Mrs. Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children.   Directed by Tim Burton

     For those who are stumbling here by accident, this is my writing blog where I talk about my writing, and other related things.  One thing I like to do is review movies, with my angle being explaining what I might have done differently.  As an imperfect person I admit the things I might do differently aren’t always the right choices, but to my personal opinion it is ways that might improve the movie.  I try to keep the first part of the review spoiler free, but once I start talking about what I would have changed out of necessity I have to discuss things that happened in the movie.

     Now going into this movie I was biased.  I had just finished listening to them on Audible, and had enjoyed the series immensely.  There is a great story that spans all three books, and it has great nuance and characters all through out.  Some of these characters are only in for one book.  Some go across all three.  But our focus here is on the movie.

     For the first two-thirds of this movie I was all in.  Visually the move is beautiful and the Characters all fit (mostly) with what I had expected from the book.  There were a couple of children’s powers that were swapped, and as it was shown in the trailer I will mention it here.  Emma instead of using fire, had her power changed to air, and Olive was given the fire power.  Normally a change like this would make me cry foul, but within the context of the movie it worked.  With a few changes like that, that in my opinion were in good taste, I was happy with what I was seeing.

     Then the last third of the movie happened.  I am guessing Tim Burton only wanted to do one move, because everything suddenly went on fast forward and an ending was stitched together that didn’t do the books justice.  I will say despite this derailment it has several moments where I still felt a surge of joy, and I now feel that Enoch may have been severely underutilized in the books.

     Overall the Acting was good.  Asa Butler was decent as Jacob.  Emma, was fine.  I could have used more Enoch and Millard, as they were awesome in the book.  Eva Green as Mrs. Peregrine was fantastic.  She managed to play the part with just a slight undertone of something sinister laying beneath the surface at times.  The villains of the story were very two-dimensional and flat.

      If you want to see this, I recommend the theater just for the visuals.  Tim Burton is still magic when it comes to just making every scene pop and look beautiful. Everything from the grey beaches to the green fields outside the home are wonderful.  There is a depth to the scenery that makes me want Tim Burton to direct a movie someday that is a hundred percent visual without any words.  I think he could do it.

     I give this movie a solid B if you have never read the books, and a C if you have.  The decision to cut this to one movie took out a lot of nuance and chance to explore characters down the line.  I won’t lie here; I think it is a horrible move to tie this up in a way that pretty much keeps the other books from happening.  I wish Tim Burton had stayed close to the original story, and left it open in case someone else wanted to pick it up.  This story does deserve a trilogy to be told properly.

    Past this point is where the spoilers are.   So, if you read past here and get spoilers it is your own fault.  I still try and keep them light, but you were warned.  Don’t whine to me.

     The big thing as I eluded to, is that I would have not changed the end on this story.  I would have stuck close to the original book and as any good story, it could have stood on its own. Even if we never received a sequel, the story could have held up.  That is without saying.

    I often complain about character bloat.  This movie had it.  Not a lot, but enough that we don’t get any personality out of some of the children except in a brief flash here and there.  The twins that weren’t at the house in the book could have been left out.  The rest could have used those few moments to be better developed.

    Now, one of the things they did right was give Enoch some screen time.  He is one of my favorite characters because he is a jerk.  He is a jerk who never becomes a villain despite the fact that is the path most authors take with a character like that.  I did not like the forced love story between him and Olive.  It was unnecessary and could have been removed.  It did not have enough time to be truly developed and at the end when it comes full circle it is more of a ‘meh moment than you being excited the two characters are together.  So cut it, or find a way to give it the depth it deserves.

     The villains are flat.  Samuel L. Jackson is wasted here.  They kept the base story behind the “whites” in place, but crapped on everything that made their story appealing.  Give me the story of Mrs. Peregrine’s brothers being a large part of the movement that created them.  Make me care.  Instead these villains feel very cartoon like and not very threatening at all.  They just are not good.  At all.  It would have been better focused on just one villain, and creating the framework to add more later.  If he had been used properly Samuel L. Jackson could have been menacing and great.  Alas, that is not what we get.

     I really don’t have more than that.  This movie mostly works, and works well.  Like I said most of the complaints I have come from the fact I read the book, and I think without that you can enjoy this movie.

     So tell me what you think, do you agree with me? Or am I off base here.  What would you have done differently if you were telling the story?

Ben Marble

If you would like to support Ben Marble and his many insane endeavors, consider buying one of his short stories at amazon.com

Nailing my Priorities

Guess who’s back, back again!

     So, it has been a little bit.  Time for an update folks.

     Grimmack has passed through edit number three and has now been pushed to a publisher’s inbox whom I won’t name.  I have some hopes here, as I think my story is very fun and solid.  The final product was just north of 50k words which is on the low end of young adolescent to teens which is where I’m aiming this story.  That being said I feel it is something that appeals to older readers as well.  According to the website I should get a response between Thanksgiving and Christmas time.  I was surprised actually as I know that Tor (not the one I submitted this too) has about a six month turn around on a response.

     Now, honestly I am bracing myself for a rejection letter while hoping for an acceptance.  I do believe my story is good, but it is up to someone whom I have never met who digs through these manuscripts to decide if it is something they want to publish. They hopefully will love my story, but they may decide they don’t.  Or they may decide it’s not a fit for their publisher, or… well there are many “ors.”  I have done what I can for now within my sphere of control, for now I have put the story to the side as I wait for judgement.  I also am looking for plan B, C, and so on for if this publisher rejects my story.  Because it doesn’t fit one place doesn’t mean it won’t fit anywhere.

      I have been a little distant from my writing otherwise.  I have been cramming the last few weeks for my Network+ certification and thankfully I have passed.  Now I am on to learning Security Fundamentals and then Security+.  For now, I can take a small breath, but a new test will be on me soon.

     So, what am I working on then?  Well, I am still writing Grimmack 2 on the side.  I also am going to be working on editing “The dragon’s apprentice” which is the other book I have finished that needs some love.  That one I have had on the back burner for a while for a variety of reasons, but I have finally figured out a few things I want to do to fix the story, and while it might mean sacrificing a few darlings, I am looking forward to getting it to a point where I can submit it.

     Oh, and there is this little November thing called NaNoWriMo I am hoping to do again this year.  If you haven’t done it before, you should.  It is a fun challenge for aspiring writers.

      Otherwise life is moving on.  I am continuing in school, working on watching for ways to advance myself in my new chosen career path.  Yes, I want to write for a living, but until I get to that point I do need to pay the bills.

      So, there you have it.  A lot of fun, and work to getting to where I want to be.

      Because, let’s be honest, this is all about priorities.  If I don’t prioritize my writing, then all I am doing is talking.  That doesn’t help anyone, least of all myself.

Ben Marble

If you want to support Ben Marble you can buy his short stories at Amazon.com