I am honestly not writing like I want to be, but I am writing. I have plans to finish the project I'm on, then move over to Grimmack 2. Somewhere in there I am going to do my final edit on "The Dragon's Apprentice" book one, and start marketing it as well. The time frame for all of this? Soon.
I am not setting a finite goal or anything at the moment, and I am O.K. with that. I have been consistently writing and editing and I will continue to do so. My progress bar is not set to an artificial timer and that is the way I feel it should be right now. There is simply too much up in the air between my new job and everything else right now. I know I don't have a consistent hour a day, or time during the week to write and that is fine, I am still making progress.
Now I know, someone reading this is screaming about clear goals in a timely manner. And they are right. When you want to achieve something that is generally the best way to do it. However, right now in the middle of the holidays working a new job and going to school I just don't have a consistent time frame I can work on writing. So I will do it a little here, and a little there, and if I get published and start making money I will re-evaluate how I do my writing.
In all honesty, I don't see this pattern changing soon since even if I get published tomorrow, I probably won't be making enough money to warrant a significant difference.
I am an adult, and I am choosing the choices that feed my family over writing. Most people do. I would love to think that I might change this someday, but in all honesty most authors don't make a significant income from what they do, at least not for a long while. While I believe in making sacrifices for your art, for me they have to be sacrifices you can live with. I have duties before stroking my writing ego in ways that take away from other things that are priorities in my life.
I will be clear, there is no shame in trying to write on non-specific terms, as long as you are trying to write. Think about you story in your head on your lunch break if you can't write there. There are thousands of prospective writers out there. In five years of trying, most of them will have given up because they cannot live up to an unrealistic view of what they see as a "real author." Then thousands more will take the place of those who have given up.
In my heart it's those who keep trying to learn and advance that eventually succeed 99% of the time. I plan on trying for the foreseeable future. If fifteen years from now I'm in my fifties and I haven't sold a big book or done anything other than selling a few self published stories I will be happy and I can live with that. I would be lying if I didn't say there wasn't a part of me that wants to explode as the next big author, but in reality even with a successful writing career that is unlikely to happen. If I don't temper my expectations around that I will be dooming myself to fail.
For now I am loving my new job. My co-workers and boss support me. I feel I have the opportunity to create and impact and grow. If I play my cards right I will be happy working for this company for the long haul.
My family is not without conflict and problems at time, but no one's family is perfect. With me at the head I would hardly expect mine to be. But we love and respect each other, and we work together in the end, what more can you ask for?
School is going well too. I have a longer road than I had first planned on, and I still hope to graduate by the time I'm forty. That may not happen, but as long as I'm moving forward and learning I am enjoying it still.
I will still ask, how is everyone else's writing coming this holiday season?
Merry Christmas,
Ben Marble
To support Ben Marble and his journeys on his big red sleigh consider purchasing one of his short stories at Amazon.com.
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