We all want to be recognized. Liked by our co-workers, and employees. Loved by our friends and family. Seen by our fellow man as someone who is good at what they do, or even might be. This is a normal trait of the human condition. There are a few exceptions here, but I'm speaking to the non-sociopathic members of society here.
There is always the advice that you should seek no approval from anyone but yourself. That you should find peace with in yourself and stay true to the path that makes you the happiest possible. Anything else is unnecessary and leads you down the path of emotional dependence on others. Apparently being emotionally zen and separate it the optimal state. See sociopath comment above.
In reality we all live in a world where we interact with other (hopefully) like-minded beings and if you are not caring towards how they think about you, you run the risk of being that jerk at work. This is very true if you find yourself not caring about them. Let's be honest here.
Everyone wants to give and receive approval. It's part of being who we are... Even the introvert likes to poke their head out of the next they have built for themselves and contribute when they can.
So when it comes to writing, the question is, what kind of approval are you looking for? Are you just writing to make yourself happy so you can stick the story/blog/paper in a folder and feel warm fuzzies that it is sitting there? Then in all likely hood it doesn't matter. But if you want to get published and make a living at this insanity then opinions and approval matter. This is where you find the balance.
I am working through the re-write edit of my book over a year later still. Honestly a big part of this is my hesitation to dive in mixed with my severe dislike of editing. This is I think the biggest bane of most prospective authors. It's easy to write and get your story down. Hacking and fixing it for hours on end? That is work. I digress though...
Through this process you seek feedback. This is essentially the approval part of your muse. You want the people who read your work to be amazed and excited. Blown away by your inner genius who is clawing to get out of each of your fingers as they type the letters out. More often then not, when we get the feedback we end up with something more valuable. The truth.
This doesn't mean that there isn't any approval there. It just means that what we get is sometimes what we need over a glowing review. Let's be honest, if you have major issues in your book it's more helpful to get a list of things to be fixed then a glowing review. Though glowing review are nice.
So, where do you look for approval? How important is it for you to be recognized for your work?
Ben Marble.
I think most of us want to say that we're looking for honest feedback, but there is always that one little part of us that hopes we'll get back nothing but praise.Sometimes the things we want only take us further from our goals.
ReplyDeleteDo we want to be good writers, or do we just want people to like whatever we write? Is there a happy median, some middle ground where we can feel good about our efforts and still get the nudge we need to improve? The answer to that question probably resides within the writer as much as it does with the reviewer. Critics are meant to be mean, to knit pick and tear apart. The people we ask for feedback should be more than just a respected opinion, they should be trustworthy.
Empty praise can be a writer's doom, I believe. I'm not sure if my belief amounts to much, but there it is. Still, we often write our stories with an audience in mind. It would be nothing short of world-crushing if they didn't find at least some pleasure in reading them.